Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Draino Test

Durning the course of our pregnancy...Brian and I have taken every test, done all the voo-doo crap we can think of to figure out the sex of our little womb nugget.
The ring over the right hand....says Boy
The energy test (kind of like the ring...but with her own special baby predictor)....says Boy
The Chinese sex calendar...says Boy.
As you can see, clearly we are having a boy.
But wait.
Have you heard about the Draino Test? One of my customers actually went home and got me crystal draino, so that I might test my urine to see what my baby is. She was a perfect stranger by the way...but was SOOO determined that her test NEVER fails...she went home and brought me back, Crystal Draino. (Which in case you are wondering....is kinda hard to find in stores, apparently)
SO. I decided to take, yet another, test.
This one seems...and I say this lightly....a little more accurate. Maybe. This is "science". Kinda. She swears, and a few other people swear that this test NEVER FAILS. Well, in 11 hours and 30 minutes, we will know:)
Because I know the curiousity is KILLING you...here is a step by step guide on the "Draino Test"


Step One: Drink lots of water....until you feel as if you are going to burst.
Step Two: Pee into a plastic cup. (The red "SOLO" cups are best. More sturdy and tall.) Honestly by this time in the pregnancy, you should be used to peeing on things...so this shouldn't be hard.
Step Three: GO OUTSIDE. Honestly don't EVEN mess around with the idea of doing this inside. Find a storm drain. You WILL thank me later.

Step Four: In another Red Solo cup, place your crystal draino. Remember....OVER THE STORM DRAIN!
Step Five: (For some reason I can blog about my deepest darkest secrets on this blog and post pictures about nearly EVERYTHING...however, posting a color picture of my urine...felt wrong. Trust me....that was pee. Fresh pee. Remember the first picture, I really filled that cup.) Slowly pour your "fresh" urine into the draino filled cup. I have no idea the measurements....just start pouring. The magic doesn't take long.
Step Six: Watch and PLUG YOUR NOSE!!! For some reason, this chemical reaction smells like DEATH! (I know, it's just pee...trust me. It is crazy smelling.)

Step Seven: Time to evaulate your results.
If the "mixture" turns brown and foams up...just a little, and kinda begins to separate....You are having a boy.
If the "mixture" turns aqua and nearly foams over the cup....you are a having a girl.
As you can tell by the picture, my mixture turned aqua and almost overflowed. It was WILD the way this little cup foamed, sizzled and stunk. Honestly we thought the cup would melt it got so hot! Such NASTY fun!

Step eight: Do not get too close to subject matter...seriously one smelly cup-o-pee. But, you must remove potent pee somehow and somewhere....Your neighboors lawn is NOT a smart spot.
Step nine: Dispose of evidence

Step ten: Kiss your honey bunz. There is a 50% chance that this test is correct...and you both are so thrilled!
Step Eleven: Call your mother. She is DYING to hear the news.
Step Tweleve: Go Shopping. Who needs a ultrasound? This is high tech science:)
Only 10 hours and 15 minutes until we go to the Doctor....this little womb nugget better get ready to show off all of it's parts and peices....WE CAN'T WAIT!
Time to put these tests and theories to an end!! Spread 'em little peanut!

5 comments:

Linda and Dave Browne said...

You are so funny! I am thinking girl, but who knows....hope guppy is cooperative so we can all prepare! We love you!

Becky Foster said...

You're a doll! And I'm so excited to find out! Quite the experiment, and I love it!

Sabs said...

wow i can't believe i never heard of that test after 3 babies. i'm excited for the real results in a few minutes.....i have butterflies. wierd:)

Kate said...

You crack me up!!!!

Brad and Alison said...

tee hee hee...too funny!